Julia's First African Wedding

If I had any lingering fantasies about EVER being inconspicuous here in Tanzania, today shattered them.

My first wedding in Tanzania!

I should clarify…I attended as a guest, not the bride.

A few weeks ago, I received an invitation to attend a wedding for the son of our head teacher, Boniface. Naturally, I was thrilled. New experience in Africa! So, today was finally the day. After jumping in the JBFC van with three of our mamas, we started down the dirt road, picking up several people along the way. It’s worth mentioning that no one in this van spoke English—except I’m pretty darn sure Mzee Kitula speaks it well and pretends he doesn’t at all. Of course, it is to be expected that everyone is speaking Swahili and not English, but for the purposes of today, remember that I had no one to explain traditions and procedures or translate the ceremony and reception to follow.

We arrived late—it was already the middle of the ceremony when I took my seat on a wooden bench next to the mamas. Next thing I know, Boniface has walked down the aisle and is bringing me to sit up front with his family. Basically, I’m the muzungu in a room of 300 people who walked in late and is now on stage, facing everyone. Totally not awkward. Nor is the fact that we are singing, praying, cheering, etc. and I have essentially no idea what’s being said.

Oh, but then there’s the processional. This is where the bride and groom walk VERY SLOWLY down the aisle, followed by sixteen flower girls dancing in unison. Note to self: sixteen flower girls are WAY better than just one. At any rate, I’m enjoying the dancing and processional and then again, I am pulled into it by Boniface. Yes, I would totally love to dance down the aisle in front of the entire city of Nyanguge…that would not make me feel self-conscious in the least!

And then, people are putting me in the van I came in, this time with the sixteen flower girls, their dance instructor (who was every stereotype you have of stage moms from the States), two miscellaneous boys, and the mamas. Apparently, we were going to watch the official wedding portraits taken.

This photo does not capture the insanity of sixteen children squished in seats designed for seven, but you get the idea...

Oh, just kidding…I was IN the wedding portraits. Yes, here is Julia in ALL her awkwardness, being beckoned to stand with two strangers on their wedding day and smile for their photographer in a series of shots. Amna shida…no problem.

Flash-forward through two hours of sitting on a plastic chair waiting for the reception to start and trying to look like I’m totally having the time of my life—because, as always, people are staring. The bride and groom enter, again with the wonderful dancing flower girls—two are students at our school, which was very fun for me.

And then we get to enjoy about 90 minutes of reception choreography, from speeches, to the cutting of a ribbon through which the bridge and groom enter, to the cutting of the cake. Oh, let’s stop there. Instead of feeding it to one another with their hands, or throwing it at one another, here they put a piece in their mouth and their partner has to take it with a kiss. Pretty scandalous in a culture when men and women never even hold hands!

Also, I have to tell you about the emcee. Picture Lucille Ball trapped inside a tall and portly Tanzanian man, and that’s a fairly accurate description of this emcee, who kept interrupting everyone’s speeches, asking the music to be turned off so he could “work the crowd,” and did his best to make fun of any and everyone. I don’t even speak Swahili, and he was obnoxious. Or maybe that’s because he got the ENTIRE crowd to laugh at me at least three times. Sadly, I have not achieved a level of Swahili where I can retort with sassy comebacks. Someday…

Oh, but finally it was time to eat! And it was delicious…pilau (spiced rice), rice, beans, beef, chicken, fried bananas, and a soda. The meat was tender, and the servers were kind enough not to give me what looked like a giant piece of tongue from the immense pot. I guess it goes without saying that I ate my entire plate without a utensil. And that the videographer (gotta love him) took several looooong clips of me eating with my hands, because I’m sure that’s an image the Kumyola family wants to treasure for years to come.

Did I mention the food was divine? Because it was.

All in all, the wedding was a six hour process, and I only made it to half of it.

Despite all the uncomfortable moments along the way, I’m thrilled I went. There is such a spirit to the celebrations here, and I loved being a part of it. I wish Isack and Pendo all the best as they begin their new life together. Congratulations to you both!